In an alternate dimension where the author is infinitely more creative and not such a shit, there would be a creative blog with posts done in the first-person from the point of view of the elevator that’s coming up outside my window right now. I mean, the thing is beautiful in a sort of “Decay-Fetish-In-Reverse” sort of way. I mean, this elevator is sort like my godchild. I knew the mom and dad pretty well (hell, I live right next door), I’ve seen it grow from the bottom of the foundation to the top support bars. I’ve seen crows defend it like a big steel nest and scaffolding placed around it.
Alright, a little aside here: These fucking crows will not stop squaking whilst defending said elevator-in-progress and nearby tree (sycamore?). I swear I will end them if this continues. Sirens, loud bikes, shitty car stereos, the sounds of shuffling glass and slamming recycling bins, the smell of burnt toast wafting into the room, fine whatever. But these crows have got to end.
Also: it is spring/summer, which means it is the season for men to return to their formal duties of killing any bug that enters their homes. We are hunters ladies, and the insect is the deadliest prey.
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