-Thinking of theme music (especially not Simian Mobile Disco’s remix of Klaxons’ “Magic”)
-Thinking of a powerful hybrid superhero (like the Hulkernaught)
-Imagining the ball rolling down the lane in your mind
-Following through
-Not following through
-Throwing the ball with eyes closed
-Cursing the elderly people in the adjacent lane and stealing their bowling chi
-Doing the same with the younger birthday crowd in the other adjacent lane
-Engaging the lane in an act commonly known as “flipping the bird”
-Cursing under your breath
Note that some of these techniques will work in minigolf, given the proper circumstances. Also, man you better love classic rock if you want to bowl because you will hear more Steppenwolf than a man rightfully should in his lifetime if you are at a bowling alley for longer than an hour. Hoo boy.
And a bowling lane without a functioning milkshake machine is not a bowling alley at all. It is a daycare with weighted spheres.
Changing gears: The new Mario Kart game is not really that fantastic. The track design is bright and fun and colorful, and even imaginative, but the polygon count actually seemed to dip between Double Dash and this one and the rubber-band physics are even stronger. I don’t necessarily mind the amorphous item chance rate, but it’s weighted to the point of absurdity this time around. I was surprised as hell that I stayed in first for an entire lap once. That and the last-place items seem even stronger this time around (looking at you Bullet Bill). Shame about the great course design and attractive menus though, because they’re really good. The game attached to them is kind of a letdown.
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