This is a brief message to anybody who’s ever commented on this blog

So, I’ve been forwarding comment-related posts to an e-mail account I never check. Fixing this in the near future. I appreciate all the comments I’ve receieved so far. Thanks for reading!

Edit: Oh wait, that was a lot of spam. Thanks to the random folks clicking who thought they were getting something informatitve! You are still our largest readerbase!~

A brief entry by Leonard Braunheart, lead synth player for Thin Lizzy coverband Thin MIDI

The tour kicked off in Cincinatti today, pardon me if the syntax and grammar are a little off on account of the post-show party and theatrics and whatnot.

I have to admit, I had a bit of a vision when the band started. I mean, my thought was always to stay true to the music. Thin Lizzy had a vision and there was no reason we couldn’t have one either. I was always about having big riffs, singable chorus lines, and themes that any teenager could relate to. I guess the problem these days is I don’t think our intended audience is getting a hold of our music, much less getting the meaning behind what I, I mean WE, do.

There is something primal and resonant about Thin Lizzy. I mean, the way they sing about teenage rebellion and getting into trouble and how the “boys are back in town.” I mean, that’s something any sixteen year old from any given suburb of Detroit can relate to. I just… I don’t think the original message of the band is being conveyed in what we are doing right now.

I’ll grant you that focusing the musical efforts of the group on 8-Bit NSF programming was my idea. It was my original thought to turn all the guitar parts into multi-layered, precisely-crafted triangle waves that would harmonize like a dream on ice. That was all me. It was Jeff’s idea to add the original lyrics on top of that. I didn’t think it was necessary. I mean, Lizzy had such a powerful message that you could understand what they meant beyond the power of words. They were, a-lingual, if you will. The point is: somewhere on the line what was meant to be a faithful tribute to a great and accessible band using free plugins for ACID turned into a (and I shudder to use the word)  hipster-bait nostalgia-thon for drunk teenagers. I mean, is it even possible to feel nostalgia in a 23-year old audience when the music in question hasn’t been popular since 1981? It seems unfair, and frankly, against the band’s original vision (which was of course to raise awareness for the plight of inner city white boys who were in need of become “lady killers” rather than “killed by ladies”).

Look, no one in the band reads this journal, and I think it’s pretty safe to say that we’ve jumped the shark before we’ve even jumped the garbage pails. I’ve only done both of the harmonizing guitar parts on “Jailbreak” twice now and it already feels like I’ve betrayed the artistic concience which originally inspired this great music. If you dig around youtube for Thin MIDDy I’m sure you’ll see the performance and understand what I mean. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to Thin Lizzy, and it’s not fair to Leonard Braunheart.

I’m going to have a heart to heart with the band tomorrow night. This madness and debauchery has got to stop.

-LB

On the uses of sour cream

Is it sour cream? Yes! It’s pretty okay.

Is it on a potato chip? That’s not bad right there.

Is it on a taco? Hey, that fits in pretty well with the rest of the flavors!

Is it on anything else? This tastes kind of rancid!

I have met my match

I spent the last few days downloading The Machine Girl over a slow torrent, and I have to say I couldn’t really watch it. I mean, I like ridiculous overhyped violence, but something about this one just put me off entirely. Just the way the shots were placed and how long to camera lingered on each violent act. It was like violence as a fetish, not as an action or plot device or even an event. It was just… kinda gross. Like I felt dirty for watching it.

So congratulations, from the guy who watched Dead Alive (AKA Brain Dead) with glee and abandon, I couldn’t bear to watch The Machine Girl. Maybe if I had some friends with me and I was hideously drunk, but in the sobering hour of one in the afternoon on a Thursday, not so much.

Returning college students: Things to do while everyone else in your family is out of your house pt. 1

-Sing traditional American folk songs, works even better in the morning when your register is lower by half an octave!

-Alternatively, listen to some loud tunes and learn to air guitar.

-Alternatively, learn to use a real guitar.

-Naked anything, IE: Breakfast, house-cleaning, dancing, etc.

The elevator deserves its own blog

In an alternate dimension where the author is infinitely more creative and not such a shit, there would be a creative blog with posts done in the first-person from the point of view of the elevator that’s coming up outside my window right now. I mean, the thing is beautiful in a sort of “Decay-Fetish-In-Reverse” sort of way. I mean, this elevator is sort like my godchild. I knew the mom and dad pretty well (hell, I live right next door), I’ve seen it grow from the bottom of the foundation to the top support bars. I’ve seen crows defend it like a big steel nest and scaffolding placed around it.

Alright, a little aside here: These fucking crows will not stop squaking whilst defending said elevator-in-progress and nearby tree (sycamore?). I swear I will end them if this continues. Sirens, loud bikes, shitty car stereos, the sounds of shuffling glass and slamming recycling bins, the smell of burnt toast wafting into the room, fine whatever. But these crows have got to end.

Also: it is spring/summer, which means it is the season for men to return to their formal duties of killing any bug that enters their homes. We are hunters ladies, and the insect is the deadliest prey.

Hey, that would have made a good photo pt. 1

Microwaving a small mug of hot cocoa. Three bags cocoa. Less than one mug of water. Chocolate sludge pouring over the sides of the mug onto protective paper towel sheets in a way that is slightly provocative.

The scaffolding outside my room where they will be building the new elevator.

Your parents made you to Roxy Music

A while back KMT The Mountain, Seattle’s 29-50 adult contemporary station, did a poll of their listener’s music. Roxy Music’s Avalon came out ahead by a long shot if I remember right. I have the album on my computer, likely a holdover from a time when I had to pick up every album that anyone deemed “great”. Not that Roxy Music is bad or anything, or Avalon doesn’t have its merits, but…

There’s a reason that demo likes Avalon. They made out to Avalon, they went to prom and Avalon was playing, they made it to second base for the first time because of Avalon.

They conceived you to Avalon.

Just a thought to leave you all with.

If I was a little more astute and clever I’d be outraged

I just watched Shooter, for one reason or another. I’m too tired and out of it to really explain why it’s wrong. I’m just not able to put the pieces together (this has been a running theme of the past two weeks). But what I can cobble together is this: It was made for right-leaning conspiracy sympathizers as “look at what our government has become” revenge wish fulfillment.

The dog is named Sam when it should be named Patroclus.

It is simultaneously callously unemotional, callously manipulative, and callously anti-individualistic. I don’t know how that works (especially the last part, grasping at straws here).

So yeah. Stay away, unless you’re a cynical sociology/film major. In which case, beautiful trainwreck.

EDIT ADDED MUCH LATER: Oh, ha-ha. Sam as in “Uncle”, and surprise: the dog dies. Yeesh

Movies that should have been around when the author was 11:

Speed Racer

The Forbidden Kingdom

a legitimately good Godzilla film

More giant robots

Ong Bak

——-

That is all.